Phantasia

The subtleties of human behaviour evaded Phantasia once again as she struggled to understand why Kaori was acting so evasive. The last time was because of Phantasia’s attempts to make friends with Shelley, but now Kaori didn’t have the excuse of a personal feud to explain herself – unless she’d developed a seething dislike of Faye already. Phantasia sat down at the nearest table and rested her chin on a hand, letting out a long sigh.

“Don’t let it get to ye,” said Lyra, sitting down opposite and opening a plastic container filled with green leaves and vegetables, which she poked absently with a fork, “Doyle was like that first time I kicked him in the nads. Still be thinking he can seduce me too, so don’t be thinking Faye’s heard the last of him,”

“Kaori doesn’t like Faye,” said Phantasia, more verbalising her own thoughts than engaging in conversation, “She didn’t like me being friends with Shelley either,”

“Yeah, that Kao’s a jealous one,” said Lyra, “We’re probably the only girls she talks to,” She dropped the leaf she was nibbling on and leaned in close, her eyes rolling around the room, “Ye ask me, she be thinking Joel’ll run off with the first pretty girl who smiles at him – and since she thinks every girl’s prettier than her…” She learned back and smirked, “’Course she knows I ain’t about to be wasting me time with a loser like Gibson, and I ain’t ever seen ye even so much as look at a guy with a sparkle in ye eyes, so I doubt you’re a threat!”

“Ah, I don’t understand this ‘relationship’ thing,” said Phantasia, “Back in—where I came from we didn’t have things like that,”

Lyra omnipresent frown broke into a slight smile. “Glad I ain’t the only one,” she said, “Ye got family?”

“Not really. Adoptive. I guess I had a brother of sorts, but he…”

“Yeah, I understand,” Lyra’s frown returned, tainted by melancholy as her focus turned inward, towards precious memories even Faye would have trouble unearthing. “Same happened to me. The world’s a harsh place like that. Maybe that’s why people be wanting love so badly, ’cause they want to be lighting it up a little. Don’t work like that, though. They rush into things ’cause they’re desperate and only end up causing more pain. Just look at that drama over Gibson, of all people, between Kao and Shell. If that ain’t an example of how things get fecked up, I dunno what is!”

“Kaori does love him, though…” said Phantasia, thought she found herself doubting that even as she said it. If she didn’t understand human relationships, how could she judge how strong they were? By the bonds that linked them? Even Kaori and Joel’s, as strong as it was, had its cracks and weaknesses, and there was little difference between theirs and the bonds between good friends like Theseus and John or brothers such as Azarat and Sabeen Haan.

“I dunno,” said Lyra, ignorant to Phantasia’s real dilemma, “Kao’s clingy: Joel’s her reason for living. That ain’t a healthy relationship no matter what it looks like now. It’s gonna tear em up someday. If people just stuck up fer their mates and didn’t be letting their genitals gatecrash the party things might not be like this. I mean the whole fecking world’s a mess cause people in the past took things too seriously. All love does is make people wanna fight. Closer ye be getting to the light the bigger the shadow, ye know?”

Chapter 44
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